never play flip cup with pint glasses
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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