i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
