Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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