The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize