I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
