what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
