Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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