i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
