this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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