party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
