So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
