Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
