Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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