I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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