i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
