You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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