I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
