he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
