....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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