how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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