Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
