Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
