At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
