i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
