i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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