We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
