doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
