I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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