I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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