It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
