every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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