Im at strip club and am horny
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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