I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Text me some of your sweat
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
