i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
