Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
