how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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