even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
