zippers are such a cool invention
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
