Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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