I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
