Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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