based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
