Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
