Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
