that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
