I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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