Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
