This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
