you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize