it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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