Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
