I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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