So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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