the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
