so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
