end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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