Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm getting married
To pizza
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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