Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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