i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
In America we eat man semen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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