please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
