we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think my moral compass just broke
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
