I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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